Offers valid until midday tomorrow (Wednesday 17th).
Offers valid until midday tomorrow (Wednesday 17th).
It’s been a little quiet of late around here. Beyond our usual laziness, the other reason is that we’ve been writing a little book for Donkey Products. Germany finest purveyors of novelty product shaped hilarity. Most famed for their royal family tea bags. Found in just about every shop worth visiting here in Berlin.
The book is called The Hipster Encyclopedia. It’s short, simple, nicely illustrated as usual by the Hipstery’s designer and Mayor of Pirna – Romibello. We’re writing it together with Paul Hawkins. The latest recruit into the shambolic Hipstery family. Here are few sample entries from the latest draft:
There’s a funny Woody Allen short story about Lacoste, where a shirt salesman falls upon hard times and prays for divine guidance. “Put an alligator over the pocket,” God tells him. Boom. Hundreds of millions of dollars fall directly upon his head. Dov Charney, founder of American Apparel, did the same, appealing to God on how to sell clothing to Hipsters. To which God answered, “Take the crocodile off.”
“That’s it?” Dov said? “Yeah, pretty much. Or make it neon. That’ll work.”
Berlin appeals to the frugal hipster because it’s the one of the poorest capital cities in Europe, which means they don’t need to get those pesky job-shaped things. Plus, it’s suffered. It still wears the scars of its history on its every Strasse. It’s like Romeo and Juliet, only in city form; cruelly separated for so long and reunited very recently only to discover that Romeo has a gambling problem and can’t find work, while Juliet is actually a French bi-sexual freak-folk musician and anti-capitalism demonstrator.
The androgynous, bisexual, taboo-breaking fashion icon is perhaps the closest thing that hipsters have in this empty mainstream universe to that of a spiritual deity. He lived in London, Berlin, New York, and probably a cupboard, wrote music that a lot of people won’t know about, wore makeup, and defied classification by weaving in out-and-out of genres and genders with all the subtlety of a hippo in an ostrich contest.
His song Changes is the unofficial Hipster anthem, and probably will remain so until they realise that it is not about scarves or haircuts.
While all Hipsters like to believe they are unique and individual snowflakes, they know deep down that they did not evolve separately and distinctly to other counter-culture groups. Indeed, they prefer to see themselves as a miraculous, modern blend of everything that was ever hip or cool or good about anything, ever. Possessing the poetry of the beatniks, the ethics of the hippies, the money of the yuppies, the nihilism of the grungers, the sensitivity to the E-minor chord of the emos, and the politics of the punks, it’s safe to assume that most hipsters imagine themselves like giant, tattooed versions of the ultimate robot thing at the end of every episode of Power Rangers.
That’s all for now folks, the book will be out at the end of year. Along with another that we are close to finishing and will probably self-publish, tentatively titled “how to take over the world”.
Good day Hipsterians, we’ve two special offers to sweeten an otherwise sour Monday:
1. Buy one mystery t-shirt experience, save 50% off the second*. Use coupon code: “50off2nd”. The mystery part of the site has moved to mystery.hipstery.com. You can mix sizes and genders.
2. 20% off all the denglisch products on our Shopify store. Including our new Denglisch for better knowers designs. No coupon code needed.
Both offers only for the next 48hrs.
*It will show as 25% off both items, due to limitations in our couponing system. Same saving.
Like approximately 20% of the population (although I’ve never met anyone else with the problem, so I’m doubting that statistic) I suffer from - Trypophobia. A fear of naturally occuring clusters. As far as phobias go, it’s quite possibly the lamest, other than maybe Venustraphobia (the fear of beautiful women) or Porphyrophobia (fear of the color purple).
So while they tell me today is International Watermelon Day, its seedy clusters will stop me celebrating. So, instead, I’m offering a cluster of free upgrades for you! See what I did there? Epic marketing in action. Take notes…
Free stuff – today only!
Enjoy and thanks for reading!
Firstly, thanks to all of you who took part in our free book promo, it was joyous to send out so many. Today we’ve another special offer available to you:
Today only (17.07) – Free Upgrade – Save €8!!
That’s right, for today only, you can order a €22 “just the shirt” and actually receive the €30 “shirt + amazing gift”. Since we’ve quite a few new gifts that we’re keen to try out.
Remember folks, today only. Save yourself €8. Enter coupon code “upgrademe” at checkout (it will show as a €0,01 reduction).
Let me start by saying we’ve never been very good at taking advice. Especially good advice. Probably because it has a tendency to be very boring. Before we started the Hipstery, the more people told us it was a bad idea the more determined we were to do it anyway. Now at a point when everyones been telling us the printed book is dead, we’ve written one.
As you all know, there is no valid reason to punch anyone. Ever. Unless they work for the GEMA. Sorry, Germany specific humour there. Which shouldn’t detract from my original point that punching people is wrong. Gently mocking them, though? That’s just fine. Encouraged in fact.
Which is why we’re happy to take part in International Punch a Hipster Day (which is tomorrow, 1st June).
50% off everything in our Dawanda and Etsy Stores (including t-shirts)
Until midnight Friday you can get everything in our Etsy and Dawanda stores 50% off. Including our world famous Instant Hipster kits, just €13 each.
Cheers and play nice now everyone
After a period of radio silence while we created some new shirts and products, we’re back with a timely special offer. Not tried our new mystery products yet? Now is your chance…
For the next 48hrs only, free shipping on all our mystery products – Mystery Items, Mystery T-shirts and Totes.
Just enter coupon code “imawinner”.
After more than two years working with Mystery T-shirts and honing the service, we’re excited to kick it on to other entertaining non-tshirt offerings. The first two are now ready:
Totes have always been the top seller in our Dawanda store, so now we’ve invested in a much larger range to form our Mystery Tote collection.
For Mystery Gifts we’re combining some of our own offerings with the wares of other brilliant companies and smaller Etsy/Dawanda sellers.
The format is the same, you can select the new products at the end of the survey.
15% off today only
To celebrate their launch, we’re offering 15% off our mystery gifts and totes with coupon code “iwantmesomeofthat”.
Greetings from Berlin,
Berlin 01.04.12 – Today the mystery t-shirt service The Hipstery have announced the newest addition to their innovative mystery product service – Mystery Pets.
“After extensive market research we learnt that most people have great difficulty picking a suitable pet” says chief scientist Dr Willem von Tinkel. Several pet owners we met also agreed – “I love my dog Jasper, but sometimes I do wish he wouldn’t hump my leg and eat his own poop” says Justin Merryweather, from Salt Lake City. Sarah Wilmington, from Leamington Spa concurs “my guinea pig is nice, but it’s basically a furry idiot that always escapes and hides under the sofa. Plus it lives like two weeks, I’m sick of burying these things already.”
“NO MORE!” says the Hipstery team. Their freakishly intelligent scientists have developed the CombiPetATron3000 which allows the splicing of DNA from several different pet species to be assembled into the customers Perfect Pet. “Just answer six cryptic questions and let the Hipsterys new team of Pet Scientists frankenstein the perfect pet for you.” says Dr Willem. “Just a few days later it’ll knock on your door. Assuming it has knocking capabilities, otherwise it’ll probably just sit there.”
We tracked down several customers of the service to see how satisfied they were with their Perfect Pets:
Jessie Wilson received – BillPugOwl
“I actually think this is our best work to date. Jessie’s answers suggested strong Hipster tendencies, lets put it this way I didn’t need to look at the address on this order to find out he lives in Williamsburg. So we combined the three Hipstery favourite animals to create BillPugOwl – 33% Pug Dog, 33% Owl, 33% Bill Murray, 1% audacious. Combining the ironic ugliness of the Pug, the smart elitism of the Owl and zany mid-life crisis tendencies of Bill Murray.” adds a visibly proud Dr W.
Luisa Müller received – Wolpertinger
“I was sceptical at first. Wolpertinger is not a beauty. I wasn’t really sure exactly what to do with a flying horned hare with webbed feet. I still don’t know really, but boy am I having fun trying to find out!” said Luisa.