Here is a story about two people who, like Oliver, said “please sir, I want some more”. They didn’t actually say that, more “please sir, I would like something else”, and they only became orphans after they said it, not prior but still the similarities seemed striking when I started the analogy.

I’m talking of course about returnees. Although we may ridicule you a little in the About page, we’re actually open to returns. If you don’t like the shirt you can return it and get a replacement(s). Remember if you don’t like that you can also return it for a refund, but should perhaps also remember that we know where you live. Now seems like a good time to sidetrack to a story about a run in my mother had with a gypsy that resulted in him defecating on her doorstep. Or on second thoughts, maybe it’s not…

Instead I’ll show you two letters we received of the very few people (two) who did return shirts:

Katja and Marcus, thank for taking the time to write us such nice letters to express your sorrow, and Marcus it’s okay that you have bad taste, the t-shirt scientists of the Hipstery are here to help you and you’ve admitted your affliction and are now on the road to fashion recovery!

In case you are wondering the two shirts they received were these fine Teefury and a DesignByHumans specimens:

New shirts were dispatched to Markus and Katja both of which delighted them greatly, which delighted us greatly and we consider the matter closed.