(recent application for our Scapegoat position, we must admit he puts forward a compelling proposition).

Dear New Master,

I am Igor. I am applying to be your new scapegoat. My previous employer (Dr.Frankenstein) has been forced to move to the arctic with his monster (girlfriend). I was shoved out of the picture, thus I am looking for new employment. In my previous job I pulled levers and was blamed for all of the power outages, fires, injuries, deaths, and bad brain transplants that occurred in and around the lab. I think I will be able to handle any of the blame that Hipstery can throw at me. If you wish to have references I can provide them.

Skills:
-Talking with a lisp
-Being able to take verbal/physical abuse
-Being able to withstand Tar and Feathering
-Being able to accept all blame for any mistake
-Having a big hunchback
-I work for free T-shirts and grass